Best Wishes Molly and Jason

I stopped just short of watching Molly and Jason tie the knot last night on national television. Ok, I did record it. But I have no intention of watching it.

I'm happy for them and all, glad they found each other. And I'll admit watching the whole thing play out was riveting.

I'm sure you have a life and stopped watching The Bachelor back in the 2002. But I'm sentimental, and I tend to hang onto the things I love for dear life. So I'm still watching.

If you ever grocery shop, you probably saw the magazine covers though so you probably know what I'm talking about.

A couple of seasons ago, in the most dramatic "After the Final Rose Ceremony" ever, contestant Jason Mesnick broke up with the girl he had picked and proposed to (Melissa Rycroft) right there on that couch on live TV. Then Chris Harrison called his #2 pick Molly on stage and Jason basically asked her to "go with him" right there.

And she said yes.

Because I don't know about you, but being publicly rejected and then asked out on national television with no advance notice is my idea of R-O-M-A-N-T-I-C.

That whole thing was good television I don't care what you say.

Oh, and if I am ever a contestant on The Bachelor, I would for sure just quit right before the end to make sure I either win or get picked as the next Bachelorette.

A Beard and a Mustache

My husband recently grew a beard and a mustache. I guess the cool word for it is a goatee, but to me it is a beard and a mustache.

Plus, since the actual definition of a goatee is "A small chin beard trimmed to a point; named for its resemblance to a goat's beard", I personally would rather have a beard and a mustache.

I associate mustaches with:
1. the 80s
2. Tom Selleck
3. that guy who starred in "the $6 million dollar man"
4. Burt Reynolds

I associate beards with:
1. Grizzly Adams
2. Santa Claus
3. the Unibomber
4. grandpas and other old men

While honestly, none of these associations make me want to rip my clothes off, I can't decide whether or not I like my husband's beard and mustache (I like saying "beard and mustache" as often as possible just to annoy John).

Here's a before and after picture. You tell me.

On top of everything else, it's not easy to kiss someone with facial hair.
Me:  "John, it sort of hurts to kiss you with that prickly beard and mustache."
John:  "I'm sorry Sweetie. Do you want me to shave it off? I will if you want me to."
Me:  "Only if you want me to kiss you."

Well Then You Will Go To Jail!

My son has a mouth on him. And I'm not sure what to do about it.

I'm told I had a mouth on me too, when I was younger. But I have it on authority from my Mother that my mouthing off never came close to Trey's. If it's true that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, then I guess I have created a very big apple.

Here is an example:

Me:  Stop pulling on the door handle Trey. We're driving and it's dangerous. (Note: child safety locks were, gratefully, on.)

Me: Trey, I said stop pulling on the door handle.

Me: Trey, stop touching the door handle. Now.

Me: I said STOP ... (You get the drift, right?)

Me: Trey, if you do not stop pulling the door handle I will pull over and give you a spanking. (Note: I am not an advocate of spanking, but I thought this might be the moment to try.)

Trey: IF YOU SPANK ME THEN YOU WILL GO TO JAIL!

In the heat of the moment, Trey hits below the belt with shout-outs like:
"Well, then I will not be your special boy ANY MORE!" ... or ...
"If you do then I will never act cute AGAIN!" ... or ...
"No more hugs and kisses for you EVER."

As I fervently read every book I can get my hands on how to raise a "strong-willed child", I anxiously await the end of the "terrible twos" (Trey is actually almost four). And wonder if Trey will grow up to be a fantastic trial lawyer or ... something else.

I'll stick with trial lawyer for now and wait it out. Wish me luck.

Does Sawyer Remind You of Bender on The Breakfast Club Too?

I am addicted to Lost.

No, not Lost: The Final Season. Not yet. I'm just learning about the meaning of those numbers 4-8-15-16-23-42. And trying to figure out if Kate is going to end up with Jack or Sawyer.

You see, we were late to the Lost party. A while back someone loaned me the Lost: Season One DVD. And, we watched an episode one Friday night, and that was all she wrote. 

As I write, I am just wrapping up Season Two. And, I am luxuriating in the knowledge that I have dozens of episodes just sitting there, waiting for me.

I cannot imagine the torture of having to fast forward through the commercials (or God forbid, watch them and wait). Worse yet, having to wait a full week to see how the cliff-hanger plays out. 

This waiting for years to watch the world's most popular shows is the way to go.

(By the way, am I the only one who thinks Sawyer is channeling Judd Nelson's Character in The Breakfast Club?)

Look at Her Ski! What an Athlete, a Daredevil!

We recently went skiing at Mt. Bachelor in Bend, Oregon. I am not a good skier and the kids have never been skiing so we all took lessons.

People laugh at the bunny slope. But it's hard swerving around all of those new skiers and snowboarders when you have absolutely no control and don't know how to stop.

All that to say, they told us when we dropped 6-year-old Macy off at her "Little Rippers" class that she herself would be making a run down the bunny slope by the end of the day.

And sure enough she did. I was hanging out half-way down the "slope" with my "class" just learning a little bit about balance and steering. And there she went, whizzing down the hill.

I grabbed my iPhone just in time to grab a few shots. Not before interrupting my instructor mid-sentence with a shout, "Look, there's Macy my daughter!" My class smiled and nodded politely. But no, I didn't stop there.

"She's just six you know."
"Wow, look at her go!"
"She's never even been skiing!"
"Boy these kids learn fast."
etc. etc. etc.

After about 20 shots, I noticed that Macy's ski outfit was a very bright pink.

Way brighter than I remembered.

In fact, I was certain Macy's outfit was a sort of pale pink.

Then, it hit me.

Yep, you guessed it. That wasn't Macy.