Don't Leave Your Purse on the Tram at the Atlanta Airport

Just don't.

Keep better track of your stuff when you're traveling. Because someone might take it. And even if a nice, honest person finds it and turns it in, you might never be able to track it down.

So, last Sunday I flew to Portland to house hunt (and I flew Delta so of course I had a layover in Atlanta). While chatting animatedly on my cell phone on that tram thing that goes from one terminal to another (because my connecting flight is never, ever on the same terminal), I left my purse on the tram.

Yep. Just got right off the tram with my laptop bag, my phone on my ear, my driver's license and boarding pass in my pocket, and my purse sitting on the seat.

Since I had a two-hour layover, of course I went straight to the bar. After finishing my draft beer (still talking on the phone) I went to pay the bartender and THAT's when I realized I didn't have my purse.

Fast forward: Someone graciously bought my beer (since I didn't have a dime on me). I did a ton of frantic running around asking anyone in uniform to help me. A few hysterical (in in hindsight, somewhat embarrassing) tears were shed. Finally, I realized I had no choice but to head to my gate and get on my flight. I was convinced my purse was gone forever, until I got to my gate and they were paging me! Someone had turned in my purse! Wow, what a relief, right?

It was waiting for me at Terminal D, Gate 15.

Problem was, I was in Terminal A, Gate 27, and my flight was boarding. No time to "dash" over to pick up my purse. No other flights out to Portland that day. I decided to leave my purse and pick it up on my way back through Atlanta on Thursday.

Bad idea. No one knew where it was. I kept getting:
"You just left it there?"
"Who did you talk to?"
"Did you check lost and found?"
"What happened again?"

Airport Personnel (meaning, a woman in a burgundy uniform riding one of those moving cars with the flashing lights) assured me that it would be put in a safe place, and she gave me her cell phone to call her to find out the location of said "safe place". How was I to know she would never EVER answer her cell phone.

The Lost and Found at the Atlanta airport:
1) Needs a better process for "finding" those things that are "lost".
2) Is located in the main terminal outside security so it really only works out if you live in Atlanta, are going to Atlanta on vacation or have a five hour layover.
3) Has lots of numbers to call, but very few real people to talk to.

Fortunately, I have a friend who has a cousin who works for Delta as a flight attendant. She, with her "all access" badge, walked around the Hartsfield Atlanta Airport for about three hours before finally tracking my purse down. How do I go about thanking her appropriately? She doesn't even know me.

So, moral of story. Hang on to your purse.

I Do So Keep Up With the News

You can learn a lot from People Magazine (my guilty travel pleasure, I indulged in the latest issue on my flight home yesterday).

For instance, I learned that actor Matthew Fox is also moving to Oregon now that Lost has wrapped. Strange coincidence? Or perhaps he is following my blog and is as big a fan of me as I am of him?

And did you know that there is a big Facebook Fan movement to get Cam and Mitchell from Modern Family to exchange a kiss (similar to the recent - and successful - Facebook movement to get Betty White to host SNL)? Producers of the show promise that a "public display of affection" will be addressed in season two.

Sidebar: If you aren't watching Modern Family, you really should be. (Remember back in the 90s when people were talking about Seinfeld and you just never found the time to tune in? Next thing you knew it was season three and you finally watched it and realized what you were missing? Well this is that same thing happening all over again. It is sitcom television at its finest. Witty, relevant, modern and laugh-out-loud funny.)

From this one issue, I also learned that Kate Hudson's son Ryder got a hair-cut. Finally. I was wondering what was up with that.

The Glee cast is complaining of exhaustion from 16-hour days of rehearsals and filming. Did they think starring in a show where they put on a mini-broadway act every week would be a walk in the park?

Demi Moore, 47, and her husband Ashton Kutcher are trying to have a baby. I wish them luck, however ...

Elin and Tiger will most likely split up. Wow, what a shocker. And, Jesse James reports he is "tortured with regret" and declares he wants Sandra back. Good luck with that.

And, lastly, Brangelina are still dressing that little Shiloh like a boy for reasons that remain a mystery to me.

Homes Built in the 1920s are Old.

Here I am in Portland on a whirlwind tour of homes. So far I've looked at 22 houses and toured five schools.

Here are a few things I've learned.
1. I definitely am not groovy enough to live in Portland YET. But I am a very quick study.
2. Homes built in the 1920s are very old homes.
3. In the 1920s, it had not yet occurred to home builders, evidently, that 2 bathrooms would be a nice extra for a family with kids.
4. If the listing says "original" and it was built in the 20s, I can skip this house and move on.
5. Realtors are a quirky bunch.
6. The beautiful homes priced right in the best neighborhoods go fast. Darn it anyway.

To save you some time should you find yourself moving 3,000 miles away and looking for a rental home on craigslist, here is a dictionary of terms used to describe homes for rent and what these terms really mean:

"Lively" = Liberal use of bright colors not chosen for mass appeal.
"Eclectic" = Choppy and probably un-livable layout.
"Cottage" = Tiny.
"Comfortable" = Lived in, possibly down-right messy.
"Updated" = The house actually needs to be totally renovated but we didn't have the money so we made some minor improvements. Yep, the bathrooms are still small. Nope, no walls were moved.
"Family home" = This comment has attitude. It means, "This was our family's home and now it's up for rent and if you don't like it, don't rent it. I'm not going to do the hard sell."
"Newer" = Does not fit into the popular 'brand new construction' category, nor does it fit the also popular 'super old but renovated' category. Might have wood panelling.

Hey if you read my blog and like it, subscribe. It helps my search engine ranking and all of that. Thanks.

I Remember When Rubber Bands Used to Be a Circle

Ok, is this a nationwide phenomenon? This trading of Silly Bandz?

No, I did not hear about it from my own first grader. She never mentioned a thing about them. But kids at her school are trading them like crazy. Two heart bands for one sea-horse. Three cat bands for one glow-in-the-dark iPod band.

Moms are driving their kids to remote locations miles away to buy a hard-to-find series of bands. It's nutty.

I learned about the whole gig while volunteering in Macy's class, where I noticed several kids had armfuls of colored rubber bands in various shapes and colors on their arms. I put 2 and 2 together when I witnessed a trade take place before the bell rang. (In my opinion, Amanda got the better end of that trade. She's quite the saleswoman.)

Aside from a brief Madonna-worshipping stage in high school, where I might have been known to wear 20+ black rubber bracelets on my own arm, I have never seen such a craze.

So, I bought Macy some "silly bandz" of her own. At a pricey $2.99 for twelve.

I should have grabbed a handful of regular rubber bands from the junk drawer, because as it turns out, my daughter is not into free commerce.

"Thanks," was all I got. "Now I can stand in line with all the other kids at recess and trade them." She could not have sounded less enthused if I'd proposed going to the dentist to have a tooth pulled.

"Why didn't you tell me about this silly band business?" I asked her. "I could have helped you get some."

Basically, my daughter has not one iota's interest in trading bands, or wearing them. She half-heartedly brings her zip-loc of silly bands to school every day, but I have no knowledge of a single trade.

At least this takes care of that pesky line at the cross-bars during recess. Maybe there's still hope for the 2020 Olympics.

I Won $70 at the Kentucky Derby!

No, I didn't go. I'm in the middle of planning a move, silly.

But, here were the guidelines I gave to my friend who actually did go to the Kentucky Derby last week-end and agreed to place a bet (or two) for me.

--  "Ok, don't bet my money on the horses with the very best odds. I won't make any money."

--  "Oh, and don't bet on those poor horses with the worst odds. They'll never win."

--  "Pick a horse right in the middle, odds-wise. Not in the middle as in where they are standing."

--  "Out of all those 'middle odds' horses, pick a horse who's name reminds you of me."

--  "Don't spend more than $20."

Fast forward, said friend placed two $10 bets, following my explicit direction, on "Make Music for Me" (I sing sometimes if you did not know) and "Super Saver" (I have evidently misled this friend into thinking I am a "super saver"). 

Anyway, thank you Super Saver. My investment of $20 won me $90 as you had 9-to-1 odds. That is, according to my math, a clean $70 that I can spend - or save - as I please. And I didn't even have to leave my house or wear a hat.

Am I Groovy Enough to Live in Portland?

Just because I was born in Portland, Oregon, does not mean I am actually cool enough to live there. But guess what? We're moving there! On June 9th!

Now all my worries set in. These are the things that keep me up at night.

Do I exercise enough?
I mean, everyone in Portland exercises, right? That's what the "Moving to Portland" websites and blogs say. I used to run, but I have bad knees (from running) so that's sort of out. I can't imagine myself biking to work. Besides, I work from home so I'll probably just walk to work.


Am I green enough?
Of course I recycle, Florida style. That means I throw all of my cans, bottles and paper into one bin and drag it out to the driveway every Monday. Somehow, I don't think that will cut it in Portland. Oregonians are serious about their recycling.

Can I handle the weather?

It can rain 300 days a year. That's a lot of rain. I like rainy days, but do I like rain 5 out of 7 days a week?

Am I earthy enough?
I'd like to think I am. But surfing the internet can be so intimidating. Community gardens sound neat, but how do I become a part of one? Composting. Cooperative schools. Clearly I am getting in over my head.


We don't own a dog!
As I understand it, everyone owns at least one 25+ lb. mixed-breed dog in Oregon. Macy is currently afraid of all dogs, even tiny ones. But I'm sure once we get one, she'll get used to him/her, right?

I am a Democrat. That's a good thing.
I am excited, and I guess that's enough. I'm sure I'll be just fine.