The World's Shortest Fast

They say, "When the student is ready to learn, the teacher appears," right?

So when I spotted Mary McGuire Wien's book The 7-Day Total Cleanse I decided the book was my teacher calling me to cleanse and detoxify my body, mind and soul with a healthy week-long juice fast.

A week later, my refrigerator stocked with carrots, ginger root, beets, parsnips, celery, kale, green apples and lemon and a shiny stainless Breville juicer adorning my kitchen counter-top, I was ready to begin my 7-day juice fast.

Oh, the first morning was awesome. The vegetable broth was delicious! (Ok, perhaps not delicious, but drinkable.) My beet/carrot/ginger juice was yummy! (Again, I was able to finish it.)

Ah, but the teacher forgot to give the student the memo; that when one doesn't eat one gets hungry. By 3 pm, I was weak with hunger and had a pounding headache. And the thought of another glass of dreaded juice made me depressed.

I'll dispense with the details, the mental back-and-forth as I disentangled myself from my fasting goals. I made deals like crazy to get myself off the hook, out of this commitment.

"Kari, if I let you go back to eating real food, you (or anyone in your family) can never eat processed lunchmeat again."

"No more Diet Coke for you missy, ever. You hear me?"

"Ok, you can eat. But, can you cut back on the wine from here on out? There's no rule that says you have to have it every night."

"A nutritious smoothie every single morning for the rest of your life, you hear? Do we have a deal?"

Suffice it to say, I significantly shortened the intended duration of my juice fast (by 85%. I fasted for exactly one day out of seven). And, I "learned" that I am not a good faster and should never ever do it again.

See, like I said, when the student is ready the teacher appears.